These
activities do not contain any age, mess factor or recommended materials.
The reason is these are activities that are focused on helping a child
through a tough time and are just templates that you will need to make
fit your situation. I do not want you to limit the activity to an exact
situation where if you did not have certain materials you could not
use the activity.
All
children have their ups and downs, just like adults. They have days
that make them feel fine and others that can bring them way down. There
are many factors that go into your children’s feelings, including
their stage of life, the people around them, their genetic make up and
what is happening in their families. What parents have to figure out
is if a child is going through a temporary problem or in the midst of
a continual one. If a child acts depressed because the family pet died,
that would be a normal, even an appropriate way to behave. If a child
is down in the dumps for long periods of time for no apparent reason,
a parent may want to talk with a doctor to determine if the child needs
help. Children who are depressed can behave just like adults who are
depressed, keeping to themselves, having bouts of crying and feeling
bad about themselves. Children can also develop fears or anxieties,
some of them very temporary. Around age five, for example, my oldest
daughter became terrified of tornados and mosquitoes and she was constantly
worrying about them killing her. Whatever your child’s issue id,
talking with them about their problems at any age is important. But
when parents find they are unable to help a child through a depression
or fear, they may need to turn to a professional.
The
absolute best method of helping your child through any emotional and
behavioral issue is to communicate. NEVER tell your child to just get
over it. No matter how silly your child’s issue seems to be it
is a MAJOR issue for them. Sit down with your child and talk with them.
Listen and try to understand what they are going through. Set aside
everything else and do not interrupt them but just listen. When they
are done, support them and remind them how much you love them.
If
you have not started having regular talk time with your child, do it
now. Do not wait until issues arise but create that trusting relationship
now so they know they can talk to you and you will listen. A good starting
point is doing activities and crafts together, instead of just plopping
in front of the television. Watching TV is NOT quality time. Play together
and talk.
This
website contains many crafts and activities for certain days of the
year but the following activities are all focused on helping you to
help them to learn about handling certain tough situations. I am not
a professional nor do I pretend to be an expert in dealing with child
behavior issues, but I am a parent and I have found each one of these
very practical for dealing with certain issues. This list is short and
only made up of issues I have been repeatedly asked about.
Remember
that these are just frameworks and can be adjusted to fit your certain
issue. Please take your child's development serious and if there are
issues that concern you and nothing seems to help then PLEASE see a
professional.
Anxiety
and Fear
In
a gentle and calm manner where there are no distractions, talk to your
child about what his or her fear or anxiety is truly about. Get as much
detail as possible while keeping the talk serious. Once you find out
what the real fear is (ie. for my daughter she was terrified of dying
from a mosquito bite because all the news on the west nile virus.) you
will want to talk with then about how they can deal with their fear.
For my daughter we reminded her that she was bigger then the bugs and
could squish them, also that mosquitoes hated bug spray so that would
help a lot and that she was brave and strong and can get through this.
The point here is to encourage your child with positive reinforcement.
Next you will need to plan the next 5 to 7 days with one activity everyday
focused on learning more about their fear. The first day for my daughter
I bought new cans of bug spray and showed her how to put it on herself
carefully to protect her self. The second day we read about bugs on
the internet and found out what attracts mosquito's and how to repel
them. The third day we talked about West Nile, which was hard to understand
for her but I focused on that it was very few people in our state who
have been sick. The next remaining days I played outside with her, and
if a mosquito came near (which only a couple did) I had her squish it.
In summary you will want to educate and slowly expose your child to
their fear so they can learn how to deal with it and with you being
with them they feel much safer. Do not belittle them or rush them into
anything.
Shyness
First
thing you need to do is not get angry with your child about being shy.
Studies are showing more and more that a child's behavior patterns are
a result of both genetic and environmental influences. Thus, your preschooler's
temperament may predispose him to be wary of new situations and slow
to warm up to the unfamiliar. The best activities that a parent can
do is to first talk to the child about why they are shy. Listen closely
and be patient with them. Do not force your child to tell you but set
the right environment and encourage the conversation. When they finish
sharing their reasons provide positive encouragement that you think
they are such a wonderful child and have so many things they should
be so proud of. Talk about how smart they are and good looking and strong
and how proud they make you. Next you will start wanting your child
to take on certain roles when young friends come over, such as having
them show where the bathroom and playroom is and reward them for doing
this. Also make a point of providing opportunities to have your child
interact with other children. Have fun activities outside like jump
rope, catch or build a tree house that attracts neighborhood kids so
they want to come over and play. Do not over do it though having a couple
kids over is good, you do not need to have a party every weekend. Finally
constantly reward actions that show improvements in his acting shy towards
others.
Sleeping
in Own Bed
The
first thing you need to do is sit down with your child and talk about
why they do not want to sleep in their own bed. Make sure you take whatever
they say very serious but also make sure they do not exaggerate anything.
Once you know this then remind them how big they are now and how proud
you are of the big kid things they have been doing. Things such as helping
to clean their room, behave so good in stores and so on. Leave the conversation
with them feeling happy and proud. Next you will need to create a list
that they will be able to look at. The list will have four steps that
you expect your child to do and beside each step you will have a reward.
Examples might be 1. dishes in sink after supper 2. pajamas on as soon
as asked (no asking twice) 3.Teeth brushed 4. In own bed with lights
out 8:00. The rewards should be activities the child loves to do, and
have a really special something for the number 4 step. With the list
put together you will sit down with your child and ask them how they
like to do each of the special rewards you have down. Then tell them
that they can have each one of these everyday if they do each one of
the steps everyday. Make the rules very clear and ensure you highlight
the rewards. Make sure the biggest (most important) behavior change
is the one that has the most worthwhile reward.
Social
There
is not much worse for any parent then to see their child excluded from
group activities. If you find your child is often left out by themselves,
the best activity you can do with your child is to create a club of
some sort. This could be a playtime club or children's exercise club,
whatever you want, the point is create a club were your child can select
the people they want to be in it. Once you have the names then call
the other children's parents and organize a meeting time and place.
Your local church is often a good place. When the club gets together
have activities planned that are fun (do not let the kids just do nothing)
play games and do crafts and make sure everyone is involved in everything.
The biggest thing here is providing a place where your child feels important
and other children know that your child invited them to be apart of
it.
Aggression
If
your child has a habit of showing aggression the first thing you need
to do is not react with aggression. This only justifies to the child
what they were doing, even if it is not the message that is trying to
get across to the child. The best thing any parent can do is sit down
in a safe environment with their child and try as best as possible to
understand the reason for their child's aggression. For preschoolers
this is usually due to a frustrating circumstance because they have
not fully developed the physical and mental abilities to do the things
they want to. Everybody uses some aggression to get through the day
(play sports, earn a living, etc,) but children need to understand that
we can not let our aggression determine our actions. The best activity
for this is to do something that requires a soft touch such as building
a house out of a deck of cards. This is a great activity to help your
child understand the need to be gentle even when they start to get frustrated.
Sit with your child and help them deal with their frustration as they
try to build the house of cards.
Destructive
This
activity requires you to collect a box full of old and unusable things
like old radios and multi part toys. Fill a box full of them and on
the box put the words “the Box of Destruction”. Actually
you can put any name you want on it but the idea behind it is have it
set aside for your child so when they feel the need to take something
apart (destroy something) you have an outlet ready for them.
Lying
This
is a great activity for creating a loving environment to talk about
lying. Preschoolers are terrible for telling fibs and the reason is
partly due to their confusion about fantasy and reality still at this
age and because they are afraid to get in trouble and want your approval.
So here is a activity to help. Sit down one day with you child and make
a book called “My Great Big Book of Fairy Tales”. Use a
scrap book or make the book out of construction paper, a hole punch
and yarn or staple it together. In the book have your child make up
some far fetched stories and draw pictures about them. While they are
doing this talk about how fairy tales can be fun but when told to cover
up something are not good. Explain how they can trust you to always
love them so they do not need to tell you fairy tales, they can always
tell the truth. Once you have filled in a few pages tell them you will
keep this book and will pull it out every now and again to write stories
together. Now the next time you catch your child in a lie, say there
is chocolate on the good coach and they did it but you did not see it
and they say the dog did it (at my home our dog Titus has been blamed
for many an amazing thing) instead of saying they lied, simply repeat
in a serious voice what the rule is “No eating on good furniture"
and then ask them to hold on a minute, go get the book and sit down
with the child and tell them to put their fairy tale in the book. Tell
them that the story they are telling you is a great Fairy Tale!
Night
Terrors
For
this activity you will need paper, crayons, a hole punch and yarn. Have
your child explain to you in as much detail what they are having nightmares
about and get you child to draw it on one of the pieces of paper. Talk
about the dream and what makes it so scary. Next ask your child what
would make their dreams not scary. Have them draw those images that
they feel would help make their dreams not scary. Next ask what dreams
they would like to have, ask them about “Fun and Fluffy”
dreams. Talk about these dreams and use encouraging fun words that make
them seem really fun. Have your child draw these dreams. Once you have
the pictures put them together as a book, have your child make a cover
page with a happy picture on it like flowers and rainbows. Use the hole
punch and yarn to bind the pages together. Keep the child story book
beside their bed and read through it with them every night before bed
time focusing on the happy dreams.
